The 5 Most Stressful Things About Wedding Planning
Planning a wedding is fun. Planning a wedding is magical. Planning a wedding is the happiest time of your life. Right?
But I might as well square with you. Planning a wedding takes hard work, considerable organisation and what in the corporate world they like to call high-level stakeholder management.
Here are the top 5 most stressful things about wedding planning, so you can do your best to neatly sidestep around them.
1. The Mothers
On the basis of factual research, The Mothers can be a major cause of stress during wedding planning. Sorry Mums. This happens when they fall into one of three camps.
Camp 1: The overbearing Mother-of-the-Bride
Her Mother overtook her day. Her Mother’s Mother overtook her day before. And she’s damn well going to have her turn to overtake yours. Whether by dint of misplaced over-enthusiasm, or an innate matriarchal nature, suddenly it doesn’t seem to be your day any more.
The moment you announce your engagement she comes around with the monstrous pile of magazines she’s been buying monthly for the last few years, complete with sticky markers for the elements she likes.
Camp 2: The inert Mother-of-the-Bride
All the stories are of overbearing Mothers and you’re prepared for that. What you weren’t ready for is a Mother whose interest in your day is so relaxed she’s almost horizontal. Why isn’t it the most important thing in her entire world?
You suggest any sort of wedding based activity and the reaction is luke-warm, with absolutely no follow-up.
Camp 3: The frustrated Mother-of-the-Groom
Blessed with only boys, she would love nothing more than to get fully involved in the planning, but is second fiddle compared to the Mother-of-the-Bride.
Via the Groom she sends a constant stream of suggestions and questions and interest, which you potentially have to keep at arms length due to a balancing act with the Mother-of-the-Bride.
#WeddingTip : If you’re a Generation Y couple you’re probably highly self sufficient, in combination with having more options than ever before. Still, try not to leave your parents out completely if they’re interested. And try not to take it personally if they’re not. The only fix is open, rational communication about what you’d like from each other in the planning process. And don’t forget the Mother-of-the-Groom. She may be the one person who keeps the Groom sober and orderly on the wedding morning.
2. Organisation of time and responsibility
You are both the ultimate in disorganisation and yet you’re now throwing the most enormous party. Where the hell to begin? And how to stop one person getting saddled with everything?
- Get yourself a wedding planning file and go through it from start to finish in order of checklist.
- Divvy up tasks from the start based on who has the most interest and relevance for each area.
- Do your best to make planning fun. Reward yourself for every successful item done.
- When someone offers help, grab it with both hands! Less work for you and they’ll feel involved. Delegation is a good thing.
3. Agreeing on the Guest List
You start by writing down everyone you’d like to invite. You realise you’ve written 200 names down. Now you have to work out who doesn’t make the cut.
You start by writing down everyone you’d like to invite. And then your family tell you 100 extra people you MUST include and your intimate wedding wish is out the window.
#WeddingTip : Unless you’re a bottomless pit of money and don’t care about not speaking to half your guests, you need to draw the line somewhere. The guests your family wants may be your biggest headache here. Ask upfront who they MUST have there and who they’d LIKE to have. And don’t forget, you can always have full day and evening guests.
4. Chasing for RSVPs
You’ve been planning for months, pouring your heart and soul into the day. You’ve chosen your invites, lovingly hand-written them and sent them out with an RSVP request. Why have some people not replied? What’s wrong with them? Could they be any ruder?
#WeddingTip : I hate to say it, but just because your wedding has overtaken your life it may not have had the same effect on your guests. And some people are chronically, unbelievably, frustratingly disorganised. You’re just going to have to suck it up and chase them. A good excuse perhaps to relegate them if you’re having trouble with you seating plan.
5. Seating plans
You’ve had (most) of your RSVPs in and it’s time to work out seating plans. The Top Table (if you’re having it) is quite straightforward. Now, you’re left with a nightmare of who to put with whom so the conversation flows. By the time you’re balancing warring families, people who used to be in a relationship and the odd awkward guest it’s as subtle an art as negotiating the peace process in the Middle East.
#WeddingTip : You can’t please everyone. As long as everyone knows someone on their table they’ll just have to get on with it.
And finally … the ones that almost made it … Choosing your venue ; choosing wedding party members and Budget management.
Do you agree with these?
Or have you successfully navigated any other potential stress areas?